Chapter Text
From the back of a moving Rhonda~
“Operation family harmony is on and poppin’,” Branch says happily after changing into his normal outfit for the adventure ahead. “What?” he asks Poppy who is giving him a smirk.
“What oh nothing,” she replies sweetly before adding a teasing tone to her voice. “I just- well if I didn’t know any better I'd almost say you were excited”
Branch blushed lightly, “What uhh no. it has nothing to do with being on another adventure with my girlfriend.”
Poppy’s smirk just got bigger before she could respond, a voice came from the speakers. “All right, all right. Tiny, Branch, Poppy, and this random dude-”
“What?” John Dory who had just been smiling and going along with everything was offended, how could someone not know him?
“on another musical adventure filled with heart, hilarity, and happiness.” Tiny finishes listing off from the driver’s seat of Rhonda
“Tiny? What are you doing here?” Poppy asks next to Tiny.
“Well Aunt Poppy, for your information, I am no longer a baby. I am a big boy now. And I’m on a man-sized rite of passage to learn lessons of life, courage, and maybe love.” Tiny says. While Branch and John Dory join Poppy at the front.
“Aww” Poppy coos.
“Should we be letting a baby drive?” John Dory asks, unsure of how to react to the little glitter troll diving his companion and home.
“Not to worry, fellow grownup. I have procured my learner’s permit.” Tiny proudly states before pulling out a very obvious fake ID.
“Who is Adulty McManface?” Poppy asks after reading off the card.
“The better question is,” Tiny responded casually before sounding serious. “Are you a narc?”
Poppy quickly got defensive and stammered. “What? No. No. Why? Are you?”
Tiny gives her a suspicious glare before John interrupts the interrogation with “ Enough chit chat, Adulty McManface. Step on it!” causing Rhonda to rear and speed up.
“Okay, guys, where was I? We gotta find your brothers and fast. But don’t worry. Old Branch’s got it handled.” Branch said while directing him to a clue board Branch had made. “All we have to do is follow the clues.” just because they weren’t his brothers didn’t mean Branch didn’t love to make a good clue board.
Poppy looked at the board and giggled “Wow. Check out the old outfits. Puffy jackets. Puka shell necklaces. Denim tuxedos? Did Bitty B have frosted tips?”
Branch giggled a bit too, “must have been an era or something.”
John Dory didn’t really understand they were talking about Branch in the third person but if the thing with ‘Adulty McManface’ had shown him anything it was that it was best to just go with it. “Don’t forget his perm.”
This bit of info triggered Poppy’s boy band fangirl instincts and she clung to John’s head. “No way! Pictures or it didn’t happen.” John just flicked his hand and a picture appeared which Poppy instantly took and showed Branch “Look at him! He was so cute. I love it.”
Branch knew Poppy loved her boy bands but the jealousy he felt was starting to get to him. He was in a boy band too! Branch was not looking forward to when he would meet this Bitty B guy. No doubt Poppy would be all over him too. John Dory was bad enough.
“But we had to pull the plug when he tried to frost his perm. Tragic.” John Dory said while Poppy just happy sobbed at Bitty B’s cuteness.
Branch was not happy, Poppy was getting into fangirl mode when she hadn’t even met the guy yet and John Dory was of no use when it was HIS brothers they were trying to help find. “While you two are strolling down memory lane, I’ll work on finding Spruce.” his irritation made clear.
Poppy, taking the hint, started to calm down “I’m gonna need copies of that pic.” she said to John Dory before whispering “Wallet size.” to which he responded with a wink and finger guns. They both turn their attention back to Branch and his clue board.
John Dory tries to assure Branch “Listen, baby brother, we don’t need your little board to find Spruce-”
“It’s not little.” Branch added he was offended that he was making light of work that he was very proud of as well as calling him ‘baby brother'. They had just met! They weren’t close enough for John to call him brother, and no one should be calling him baby (except maybe Poppy). Maybe it was a ‘John Dory’ thing? Pop trolls were known to be overly friendly but it still made him uncomfortable.
“-…because I got this!” John said as he pulled out a postcard from his jacket. “Ha! Booyah.”
“A postcard that says, ‘Wish you were here’? That’s it? It’s not even signed.” Branch said irritatedly. He thought he was the only one to talk like this who was this Spruce to steal his thing?
“It’s definitely Spruce. I mean, he’s the only one I know who talks that way.” John said casually. This makes Branch more and more relieved by the second that John doesn’t know him. However, knowing how Poppy has a habit of befriending everyone she meets, he knew it was only a matter of time.
“There’s no return address. It’s blank. This could be from anywhere. We can’t find Spruce with this.” Branch said.
“Yeah, we can! All we have to do is find this sunset.” Poppy said with the same blind determination she’s always had.
“Liking that optimism, Poppyseed. Branch, one word. Keeper!” John Dory said
Branch walked away from the board and up to the front with Tiny. He knew he was done for as soon as John started with the nickname. Poppy was a sucker for those. and from a boy band member? She was going to be riding the high for a while. At least it explained the ‘baby brother’ thing. Branch had told him enough times he was confused so John must be using it as a nickname for him.
“Hey, man. I know about being treated like a baby. But while it’s just the two of us, you want some of this?” Tiny asks as he pulls out a ring-pop pacifier.
“Nah. Thanks, man. I can't get back on that train.”
“Suit yourself,” Tiny says as he starts sucking.
“I mean, hey, look at this. We’re never gonna find Spruce with this. I bet this sunset doesn’t even exist.” Branch says before turning his head away from Tiny to see the very same sunset from the postcard.
“Oh, hot dog!”
“ah, man. Of course.” Branch whined, stupid jinx powers, why did they have to do him like this? Poppy would remind him of this later. “Hey, guys! You’re gonna want to see this.”
Poppy and John head up to the front to join Tiny and a very grumpy Branch. At seeing the view before her Poppy smugly said “I knew we’d find it.” taking in Branch’s face before continuing, “Spruce must be on that island.”
John spins the driver’s seat “Whoa, easy there, goggles.” Tiny said in distress as he flew out of the seat with Branch needing to catch him while John took his seat back on Rhonda.
“All right, y’all. Let’s mobilize!” John said as he pulled his goggles over his eyes.
“Yeah, pedal to the metal, JD,” Poppy said hyping John up with his nickname.
‘Aw, crap she made one for him now too.’ Branch thought there was no way he could get rid of John now. He turns to look out and sees that Rhonda is approaching the edge of a cliff and fast. John must be planning to get rid of all of them instead, he knew he shouldn’t have trusted this strange troll. “What are you doing?” he asked in alarm.
“Worry not, friends. Rhonda here’s completely waterproof.” John said as he drove Rhonda off the cliff into the water with them all screaming.
As Branch was screaming for his life a few things flooded his mind. Like how if John was so sure things would be fine then why was he screaming too?!!! That and at least he was going to die being right, kinda like what almost happened with the Bergens and the rock apocalypse. Maybe there was something to be said about that, but at least he would be dying alongside Poppy.
………
They survived, of course, they did.
While Rhonda was not at all waterproof they did manage to wash up on the beach. “Good old Rhonda. Completely waterproof, huh?” Branch said.
As they make their way into the jungle of pool noodles Poppy sees it as her chance to finally ask her burning questions about one of her favorite boy bands “So, John Dory, who wrote that song ‘Girl, I Love Your Love, Girl’?
John, seeing it as his moment to shine, proudly replied “I did.”
“Cool. Who wrote, ‘Girl, You Break My Heart, Girl’?”
“I did.”
“So cool. Who wrote, ‘Girl, I Love Your Love, Girl, You Break My Heart, Girl, I Still Love You, But I Seriously Think We Should Have A Talk About Our Relationship, Girl’?”
“Oh, that was Branch.”
“Shut up! That was my favorite BroZone song, like, ever.”
Branch was going to point out it was impossible for him to have written that song since he wasn’t in the band but Poppy was so caught up in her boy band craze that she wouldn’t have listened anyway.
John admits the truth quickly, “JK! Also me. Branch has never written a song.”
Ok, that one hurt. Who was he to assume Branch never wrote a song? Sure he spent a long part of his life avoiding music but John didn’t know that! He didn’t even know he used to be in Kismet. “Hey, you don’t know what songs I wrote and didn’t write. Who are you to assume anything about me?” Branch bristled.
John just laughed it off “Okay, take it easy, Bitty B.” as he slid down a pool noodle with an inflatable leaf. Leaving Poppy with Branch.
Poppy was getting a bit concerned while she loved her boy bands. She loved her boyfriend more, “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked.
Branch not wanting to worry, Poppy tries to cover up his irritation. “Nothing. Super happy. This is our most fun mission yet.” Branch said as he grabbed his own inflatable leaf and slid down a noodle, “Yay.”
Poppy could easily tell Branch was unhappy if his sarcastic display was any indication. She knew he had trouble opening up about his feelings but she was disappointed he felt like he couldn’t talk to her. “Branch I wish you would talk to me instead of shut me out. What happened to being real with me?”
Guilt pricked at Branch’s heart, he was trying to avoid hurting Poppy but he had still managed to do so. “Poppy, I'm sorry. I just don’t want to upset or worry you. I know how much you love boy bands, hell that’s the only reason I came on this dumb adventure. I just didn’t think John would be such a jerk.”
“Branch if you really don’t wanna come you don’t have to. I understand you don’t have to like everyone.”
“I know but I want to. I want to be wherever you are. Even if it’s helping some jerk find his missing brothers and saving the one who got trapped by popstar wannabes. I'm sure not all the Brozone members are terrible, even if it means we have to find Bitty B.”
“What’s wrong with Bitty B?”
Branch blushes and turns away. “He’s your favorite isn’t he?”
Poppy giggles “Oh Branch, he’s my favorite because he reminds me of you. Even John thinks you look like him.”
“Yeah about that, you don’t think he still thinks im Bitty B do you? He acts a little too close to me.”
“Come on Branch, relax he’s a pop troll. Im sure he’s used to doing that because of all his fans.”
“But what if he does think I'm him? We’ll have to tell him, at least when we find Clay.”
Poppy’s mood deflates as they reach the end of the pool noodle “Okay. Fine” she says as she walks after John.
“Poppy, wait,” Branch said noticing that he had still made her unhappy.
“Grownup stuff. Am I right?” Tiny asks, having followed them down a pool noodle of his own. “You know, I’ve still got that thang if you want it,” Tiny adds offering Branch his pacifier.
“Whoa, whoa. Don’t be waving that thing around.” Branch says trying to cover up Tiny while doing his best to look as unsuspicious as possible in the most suspicious way possible.
After they caught up with Poppy and John he said to the group “All right, y’all. We’re getting close to something. I can feel it.” before John immediately bumped into something. Only to find out it was someone causing the group of trolls to scream.
The giant turned to face them, “Whoa. What do we got here?” he then turned to a group of small rock climbers “Hey, guys. Looks like I found some fellow rock climbers.”
Poppy looks down to see what was a rock wall with a few kids climbing and shouts “hi!” with a wave.
“Welcome to Vacay Island. Where every day is a vacay.” the island of vacationers starts to sing.
When you’re on a holiday
You can’t find The words to say
On an island in the sun
We’ll be playin’ And havin’ fun
And it makes me feel so fine I can’t control my brain
As the four trolls walk around the beach, two beach ball-shaped birds start singing replacing the song of the vacationers.
She call me Mr. Boombastic Tell me fantastic
One of them flew up to a tree and grabbed a drink for Poppy.
Touch me on me back She says I’m Mr. Ro…
As she accepted her and before John could ask for one of his own the group turned to see a troll with purple hair surfing and singing.
Sailing
Takes me away
To where I’ve always heard It could be
Poppy looks at a magazine page of a young Spruce to compare to the troll before her. “Heartthrob?”
Just a dream And the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free
The purple-haired troll finishes as he surfs to shore heading into a restaurant called ‘Bruce and Sons’ with an attached banner of ‘and one daughter’
“Oh, yeah. I totally see it.” Poppy said as she threw the magazine page into the air following the rest of the group as they chased after the purple-haired troll.
The restaurant as it turns out also has a pool area as well as see as a Vacationer runs past the group shouting a “cannonball” before going into the water.
Spruce can be heard shouting orders. “Running drinks to the back to top. Lenny! Seaweed floats are almost out.”
Where a vacationer named Lenny responds with a “Thanks, boss” which Branch finds a bit odd considering the sign said Bruce and Sons’s even with the added banner of ‘and one daughter’ something still wasn’t adding up but they had more pressing matter of catching up to Spruce.
John is quick to chase after him, “Hey, yo, Spruce! Spruce! Hey!”
Spruce without even turning his back throws him a troll-sized menu and says “Specials are on the back. Don’t order the clams. Don’t ask why.” before walking through the pool and restaurant taking orders, “Fricassee squid and one jellyfish slider.” not even noticing the disappointed trolls behind him.
“Spruce, wait.” Branch yells chasing after him with Spruce with John, the sooner they grab Spruce the sooner John will leave him alone.
Spruce thinking they were just another one of their fans just writes down the orders on a notepad before saying to them “Huh? Oh, no. I knew this would happen one day. Listen, I know you recognize me from BroZone, and I’m happy to give you an autograph or whatever, but can you please be discreet about it?”
John, having finally got Spruce’s attention, says “Spruce, it’s us. It’s your brothers.” leaving Branch to give Poppy a look like ‘see! This guy is crazy!’. Before Poppy could give him her ‘oops my bad’ look Spruce finally turned around, threw his notebook and pen runs past an open-armed John shouting “Bitty B”. while John gave a “What?” and a look like he’d been slapped.
Branch having once again been grabbed was then tossed in the air like a ragdoll. What was it with these brothers and the tossing? Branch had to quickly clear things up because he was not going to go through a rendition of John’s introduction. “Whoa! No tossing, okay? Too big to be tossed. And it seems like John misinformed you about something.”
Before Branch could continue Branch interrupted with “The last time I saw you, you were in diapers.” which struck Branch as odd. Even if he wasn’t his brother, why would Spruce have not seen Bitty B for that long? Trolls usually grew out of diapers rather quickly. It was a very hard look to pull off that only few could. John had also mentioned something about not seeing his Brothers since the break-up but that was around 20 Years ago from what Poppy said. Branch’s thoughts were interrupted with a wet finger in his ear.
“Wet willy!” Spruce said happily. While John just gives a proud smirk.
“HEY! What do you think you’re doing!? That’s disgusting, I'm an adult.”
“Oh, sorry. A whet Whilliam.” Spruce said with a smirk of his own.
“I'M NOT YOUR-!” Branch tried to say before Poppy cut him off.
“Hi, Spruce. I’m Poppy. Wow. It's like It’s so cool to meet you or whatever. This is Tiny Diamond.” she said pointing to where Tiny had been a moment before.
Tiny who had found his way to a vacationer’s stomach covered in a plate of nachos said “Hey, what’s up? Killer nachos you got here, by the way.” before diving in “Yeah!” not that the vacationer seemed to mind giving Tiny an “All right!” after successfully diving in.
Having thoroughly been distracted the conversation is led by John, “Okay, Spruce. We’re here because Floyd-”
“Actually no one’s called me Spruce in years. I go by Bruce now.”
“I’m sorry. Did you say, Bruce?”
“Yeah. I wanted to put the whole boy band thing behind me now that I’m a dad.”
Suddenly the sign was making a lot more sense to Branch even if it was a bit on the nose, but Brozone wasn’t known for their naming things if John's song titles were anything to go by.
“Wait a minute. You’re a father?”
“Yeah. I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.” Bruce said happily as he turned to a vacationer working behind the counter “Hi, honey. These are my brothers. Unexpectedly.”
The vacationer turns with an order full in her hands to the group of trolls with an “oh.” before the information registers and she gives a surprised “Oh! Oh, hello there. So nice to finally meet you.” as she puts down the orders and leans on the counter to get level with everyone.
Branch wanted to correct Spruce, or Bruce now but he was too stunned by the implications and just waved politely. Poppy, who couldn't do anything unless it was over the top shouted ‘hi’ as she waved while John opted for a normal hello.
“This is my wife and business partner, Brandy.” Bruce introduces while Brandy kisses his cheek, “She is my soulmate, my very tall soulmate. But we make it work.” Bruce said with pure love and adoration.
Poppy smiled and nodded along while John asked what Branch didn’t think he had the right to ask, “How?”
“We don’t even really know how it works.” Brandy answers while grabbing a cookie off the counter “I’m kidding. I’m- I’m not. I’m- I don’t know.” she continues seeming to be a bit flustered, with her husband looking like he had enough pride to fill a parade.
A child to what seemed to be a vacationer troll of Brandy and Bruce with green felt skin and red yarned troll-style hair. Climbed up and said, “Daddy, Daddy, can I have a cookie?”
Bruce not bothered in the slightest tosses a cookie from the plate on the counter to the child’s open mouth as he then crawls away. “Becoming a dad was like a like a seismic shift in my brain,” Bruce tells the group of trolls.
Two new children pop up from behind the counter, one yellow with pink hair and a worried expression, the other purple with green hair and an annoyed expression. “Daddy, Bruce Jr. bit me.” the yellow troll said pointing to his purple sibling.
Bruce Jr. who had his mouth open like he was about to bite his father got a stern “no biting” which surprised him enough to close his mouth and walk away with his brother.
This time a blue-skinned vacationer troll with red hair and a white flower walked up to her father and said “Daddy, I don’t see how any government stands a chance.”
Bruce deflects with a “You’re not wrong, kid” causing the young troll to put her hands over her face in distress. Only a purple vacationer troll with purple hair leaped up from behind the counter inside a ketchup bottle and rolled over to his dad. To which Bruce stopped with his foot.
“I’m stuck in this ketchup bottle.”
Bruce, having some concern on his face replied “Okay. Gonna handle all of that.” before he pushed the bottle away adding “Just give Daddy two seconds, okay? Love you.” and turned back to the group of trolls. Clearing his throat he starts “As a dad-” only to be interrupted by his daughter again.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Guess what?” Bruce turns to his kid before dread takes over his face at the sight of her. “I have pink eye,” she states.
Causing the other trolls to groan in distress, “Oh, my Pink eye.” Branch said.
While Tiny wasn’t so subtle in his vocabulary “Oh f*ck!” turning his head away.
John seizing his moment to catch Bruce’s attention said “Look, Spruce, gotta cut to the chase. We’re not here to catch up. We’re here because we need to hit the perfect family harmony.” Branch still had no clue what was so special about this family harmony but he’d just nod along with Poppy for now. Now was not the time to ask questions.
“Oh, no. You’re still going on about that?” Bruce said, dismayed and turning away “Hey. Get these guys their meals to go.”
“No, no, no. You don’t understand. It’s for Floyd. He’s being held captive.”
“What!? Well, then, what are we waiting for? We need to-”
“Hit the perfect family harmony.”
“-call the authorities.”
“Spruce, it-it-it has to be us. Floyd’s being held captive in a diamond prison.
“Oh. Well, yeah, you need the perfect family harmony for that.”
“Exactly.”
“Wait. But how? We’ve never even come close to pulling it off. You do remember our last show, don’t you?”
Again with the last show, the show that caused the break up what had happened? Was that why John and Bruce hadn’t seen their brothers? What was Branch missing? Maybe he’d get more answers later.
“If we practice,” John says, walking toward the stage area that of course they have at an indoor pool restaurant. He then backflips onto center stage as a light shines on him “I know we’ll be able to nail it. We have to.”
Bruce giving a nervous laugh backs away from the stage a bit and says “At my age? I really don’t think that-”
“See, guys. I told you Dad wasn’t in a band.” a pink-haired pink vacationer troll says to his green brother with red hair. Who looked at their dad with doubt and suspicion.
“Oh, I was in a band. I was in thee band.” Bruce addresses them with seriousness then adds “You ask your mother if I was in a band.” as he gestures to Brandy.
“Oh, he was in a band,” Brandy assures swooning with a light chuckle.
Poppy taking this as her opportunity walks up to them and starts chanting “prove it, prove it” gaining the unity of the two kids, who joined in her chant.
Bruce looks at his wife who gestures to him to toward the stage, “All right. I’ll I’ll prove it. I’ll prove it right now.
“Yes! Bring it in, Brother.”
A gathering of vacationer trolls starts to cheer even Bruce's daughter with pink eye. And the son still stuck in the ketchup bottle along with boy band-crazed Poppy. “Branch, get up there. Go sing with Brozone!”
Branch was surprised by Poppy’s suggestion. “Poppy, are you nuts! We’re gonna have to tell them eventually. Do you want to encourage their behavior? Bruce gave me a wet willy. And John is already crazy enough on his own. Are you really ok with all this lying?”
“Branch please, come on. For me? I promise we’ll tell them after we find Clay just for now at least sing with them?”
“Alright fine, but you’re gonna be joining in, I will not be left alone on stage with psycho Brozone brothers one and two. At least one of us should enjoy singing up there”
“Eeeee! deal!”
“I’m gonna show these old trolls some real boy banding.”
Poppy was getting even more excited by Branch’s determination, so she started up another chant “Prove it! Prove it!” while having no context the kids still joined in.
“I said fine! This is more than likely beneath me” Branch knew it 100% totally was but anything to make Poppy and based on the look on her face, she was really happy.
Poppy sprung into action, hopping to the nearby boom box and inserting a Brozone cassette tape as the music began to play.
John and Bruce start dancing with Bruce starting off the song.
My girl’s like candy A candy treat
She knocks me right up Off my feet
John took the next verse as they synched up their moves
She’s so fine as can be
Having gotten into synch they duet
It’s like A perfect harmony
Candy girl, You are my world
You look so sweet Come back to me
Brandy was waving her hands trying to cool herself off while Branch started stretching. The brothers point at him and rush over to grab him to the joy and excitement of Poppy.
All I know When I’m with you
Pulling Branch up to the stage Poppy yells out a “yay” before the brothers continue their song with Branch synching up his dance moves to theirs.
You got the right stuff Baby
Love the way You turn me on
Branch hated being roped into Poppy’s music-filled plans but his mood changed when he thought about his grandma, who had loved Brozone. He thought of her and how happy she would be to see him singing with them now.
You got the right stuff Baby
You’re the reason Why I sing this song
Branch at that moment starts to sing
You’re all I ever wanted
The brothers then sing with him in harmony.
Baby
You’re all I ever needed Yeah
So, tell me what to do now
When I want you back
Branch then holds out his hand to Poppy as her signal to join in the song
BroZone’s back, all right!
Whether you’re a mother Or whether you’re a brother
You’re stayin’ alive Stayin’ alive
Feel the city breaking And everybody shaking
People stayin’ alive Stayin’ alive
BroZone’s Really back again
I want you back
Having finished their performance with a pose the crowd started to cheer. John turns to Bruce “Ah, yes. We still got it.”
Bruce pulls him into a half hug “Oh, tell me that didn’t feel good.”
Huh. guess singing brought them together, so then what broke them up? Branch wondered, but something else was nagging at his head. “It’s weird, Poppy. I don't remember grandma playing that song but it was as if my body just knew how to perform that song. It’s so weird.”
Poppy having lived out one of her fan girl fantasies calmed down enough to talk to her boyfriend, “It was probably just instinct. Looks like your boy band days aren’t behind you. Maybe you should get Kismet to reunite and to a full-on concert rrrrr” Branch could forget all the things in the world at that moment and die happy at that moment.
“M-maybe I will. Bruce style with a lousy post postcard and no return address.” Branch jokes trying to ignore the heat rising to his face. They rushed off into Rhonda with Tiny while John grabbed Bruce who kissed his family goodbye before Rhonda set off on their next destination: wherever the f*ck Clay is.
